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The Dating App Round Up With Melissa

YGYG Melissa | Dating Apps

 

In the last episode, Christina talked about her experiences with dating apps and gave her insights on their use. In this follow-up episode, Christina talks to Melissa about her experiences on dating apps and meeting potential dates online. We get to hear what she thinks of the difference in today’s dating modes and why dating apps aren’t all that hot. We also get to hear some thoughts on why dating apps don’t always hit that sweet spot for many. Tune in and get more insights on modern dating.

Listen to the podcast here

The Dating App Round Up With Melissa

I have Melissa joining me and we are going to get into the hot topic of dating apps. Bear with us as we may get off-tangent because me and Melissa do work together so the conversation does flow easily. Sometimes we hop around but it’s an interesting conversation on dating apps and which dating apps. My main focus was getting Melissa’s experience in dating apps because we all know that my experience with dating apps is non-existent. Nobody ever responds to me. I pulled Melissa in to discuss a little bit further into dating apps and what type of messages she gets on dating apps and we touch base on a few other things, too. I hope you enjoy and here we go.

Our topic is dating apps. We have talked about this several times on and off. My experience is I get ghosted.

I wish that happened to me. The stories I could tell.

Let me hear a couple of them. I want to hear the creepiest that gives off bad creepy vibes. There has to be one.

The funny thing is that a lot of these guys are not necessarily mean. I did have one that was mean and it freaked me out. I did tell you about that one. That kid who messaged me and called me a racist because I said, “I’m so sorry but the drive is just too long.” He was like, “You wouldn’t have said that if I was a white guy.” I was like, “Excuse me, what?”

I don’t understand you saying is such it’s too far of a drive, which means that you are racist.

This is what really freaked me out. I didn’t feed into his nonsense because I wasn’t going to put myself on his level but he was also too young for me, as it turns out because I have an age bracket either way. It’s ten years either way.

You go down. I don’t go down. I only go up.

I will if the maturity level is there, I’m a big kid so it’s okay to go down if they can tolerate the fact that I might get tired early at night.

Our bedtime is 8:00 PM.

Not quite yet but we could be going there in the next few years. This kid, I said to him, “I’m so sorry but the drive is too long but thank you so much for the compliment and good luck in your search.” I called him handsome. There was nothing in my message that inferred that I was racist or anything like that. I even called him handsome. He was handsome and he was too young. I didn’t mention that. I picked a card and played it. He’s like, “You wouldn’t have said that if I was a white guy,” which really turned me off because it’s irrelevant altogether.

You were having a conversation with him regardless.

Sometimes the quirkier introductions are the ones more likely to get a response.

That was the thing. I didn’t say anything that would have been considered racist at all. I didn’t feed into it. I didn’t answer after that. I was so shocked. I’m like, “I’m just going to ignore him and he will go away.” The following day, I’ve got another message from him. This is the one that really got me. “White guys don’t like fat girls,” and I’m like, “Just because I have 40 extra pounds on me does not make me a “fat girl.” I hate to break it to you but white guys actually have no problem with me.”

Why on Earth would someone say that?

He continued. It was worse because he came back. I swear to God. I’m not answering every time. Even though I could have put him in his place, I didn’t want to sink to his level. He came back to me with, “I can tell that you are racist.” At that point, I’m like, “Block. Report. You are done.” I can’t do this with the hate.

It sounds to me like he just wanted to pick a fight with somebody.

I was an easy target because I immediately said, “Thank you very much but I’m not driving an hour to see you.” I’m a Rhode Islander so an hour is long for me. The only reason I say that is because if I’m going to start a relationship with someone, my time is so limited as it is based on the fact that my schedule is chaotic. I don’t want to drive an hour each way because that’s two hours of my time that I could be spending with someone. Half an hour, 35 minutes, I’m okay with that. I’m staying local within the state but I don’t want to go all over God’s creation to date someone.

There are some that I have to swipe left on because they live in East Mesa and East Mesa to me is an hour and 45 minutes to two hours drive. My brother lives out in San Tan or even further than that. All I know is the drive is two hours and two hours could take me to Flagstaff and I would rather go there than East Mesa or San Tan Valley. If I’m going to choose, in which direction I drive two hours, I’m going to go North, not East.

Plus, the direction that I would have been going in, there’s only one major road to get there. It’s awful and full of traffic regardless of the time of day. I used to live out in that direction. I was just like, “No,” based on where you are located and you just lost it on me. I have had strange ones. They weren’t mean, aggressive or angry but I had this one super tall guy. We were talking about height. He’s like, “How tall are you?” “I’m 5’6″.” He goes, “I’m way over 6 feet.” I’m like, “That’s good,” because I actually have a guy who was taller than me for a change, which is unusual.

He’s a nice guy and he could be the one. He asks me if I’m into S and M. I was like, “No.” He’s like, “You don’t think you could dominate me even like tiny up?” I’m like, “No, I can’t. It’s not in me to abuse someone.” Not to say that there’s anything wrong with that because there isn’t. Some people are into that and that’s okay. I have no problem with that but it’s not for me. I wanted to be honest with this guy.

I will max out at like, “If you want to handcuff me but the whips, chains and all that, not so much.”

Maybe talk into me once in a while. That might come automatically later on.

I’m not approved by any means. We have discussed our history but I don’t like talking dirty. It feels weird to me. That’s just awkward, “Give it to me, baby.” I can’t do it. The choking, the, “Do you want to slap my ass?” I can handle it. In no way am I vanilla or anything like that but I have my boundaries and those are some of them but the talking dirty thing, I just can’t. I don’t know what it is about talking dirty but I get so embarrassed. You know me. I don’t get embarrassed. I don’t care what people think about me or any of that but for some reason, that does not tickle my fancy.

Everybody has got their thing. That’s just not your thing and that’s okay. It’s okay to have your thing, whatever your thing is but if you are trying to partner up with somebody, they have to be aware that if it’s not your thing, you are not going to go there. I actually did talk dirty to a guy once. I’m like, “Do you like it when I talk like that?” He goes, “Not really.”

YGYG Melissa | Dating Apps

Dating Apps: It’s okay to have your thing, whatever that is, but if you’re trying to partner up with somebody, they have to be aware that if it’s not your thing, you’re not going to go there.

 

Some people don’t like it. Maybe it’s because none of my previous relationships were. Honestly, if I’m having sex with you, it’s not to talk to you. It’s to have sex with you. I don’t need to have all this extra conversation in the middle. I just need to get it in and be done with it.

What about you? You must have some crazy story. What is the worst, the ugliest and creepiest thing that has happened to you?

I don’t have anything that’s the ugliest or the creepiest thing but out of all of the people I have sent messages to, the one person who really responded to me was this guy who was older than me. He was very handsome and we talked for a good day or two, and then he was like, “I noticed you have kids,” because I have it laid out on my profile. “I have children. If you can’t do it, don’t waste my time.”

He’s like, “How many kids do you have?” I was like, “I have three.” He goes, “Oh.” I’m like, “Yes, it’s a lot.” He goes, “What are their ages?” At the time, my youngest was about eighteen months. I only hopped on a dating app after my ex-husband left, just to see what the dating pool was all about. I’ve got off of it because I wasn’t ready. It was not right.

A few months later, I’ve got back on it and he was like, “Don’t take this the wrong way but that’s too many kids and I don’t want anything to do with you.” I applaud you for your honesty but he was 45 years old. It’s like, “You are 45 years old.” My response was I didn’t say anything to him. I was like, “All right. Deuces.” I wanted to be like, “You are 45 years old. Are you expecting to find somebody who doesn’t have kids at our age?” I know of a couple of men, one whom I talked to you about often who doesn’t have any kids and he’s my age but it’s not a common thing.

It’s a rarity. If you are looking to cut down on your dating pool options, that’s a good way to do it. At this point, anywhere from 30 years old and over, there’s a chance that that woman or man is going to have children that are involved in their lives and you have to accept that. It’s an automatic thing.

You have to deal with it. I’m going to be honest, though. My dating pool is I search for older gentlemen, mainly because chances are their children are older than mine. I don’t want to meet a guy who has children that are within the same age range as mine because that would be too much for me. I would prefer that the dating pool that I am in, either you don’t have children, which I know is rare or your children are older, high school age, 7th or 8th grade.

My kids are so young that I can barely handle them some days on my own. I can’t imagine tossing in a whole other set of children that are in the same age range. If I’m going to be dating around my age, then I have to expect that person most likely has children around the same age as my children. As I get older, that may change. As my kids get older, I may say, “I can handle another 9 or 10-year-old,” but I have a three-year-old. I don’t need another three-year-old because he’s already six children in his own area.

It’s like your own personal Brady Bunch in one kid. How many are too many? Would you have been okay if you had 1 or 2 children?

I was curious about that. I don’t know because I didn’t ask but I have three children and I just so happened to be single with a three-year-old because my husband bailed out when he was nine months old.

Our stories are similar. I found out three months after my son was born that something was going on behind my back but I didn’t really know what it was but it was the same idea. Not to bash him because we are in a good place now but that was a long time ago and things were not good then. We had a lot of history. It’s actually too bad that things went the way they were because we were good friends before we decided to try relationship material but it is what it is. The thing is, I waited a long time to get on dating apps. I don’t know what I thought. I didn’t think I would meet anybody out in public. I think that was it. I didn’t get out enough to think that I could justify that. I figured the dating app was an easy way to meet new people but not so much.

Now here I am, I’ve got my husband left and a year later, we hit the pandemic. I can’t even leave my house at this point. How am I supposed to meet somebody if we were all in quarantine? To be honest, I never left my house, to begin with. I couldn’t blame it on the pandemic because I don’t generally leave my house on a normal day.

At some point you just have to accept that maybe you’re going to be 40 pounds overweight the rest of your life, and that’s okay.

I did go out on my own and I actually had a friend who was like, “I so applaud you for going out and doing things on your own.” I’ve got to the point where it was like, “If I don’t go alone, I’m not going because there’s nobody to go with me,” so I did. I was safe because as a single woman, you want to be safe and know where you are so I didn’t go too crazy but I did go out and do things by myself because, at the end of the day, I wasn’t going anywhere if I wasn’t going by myself. I had to but I still wasn’t meeting people. It’s not like people were coming up to me like, “Could I have your phone number? You look like an interesting person. I would love to get to know you.” That wasn’t happening.

Here’s my take on actually going out places. If I were to go to a bar, it’s all people that are way too young, early to mid-twenties. It’s not my scene, to be honest with you, because I’m in bed by 8:00 or 9:00 at the latest. I’m a workaholic and I can’t stop fucking working. I guess that’s what happens when you love what you do. I don’t see myself being able to go out someplace and meeting somebody. I will gladly go to dinner by myself, sit at a restaurant and read a book while I’m eating dinner out by myself. That’s totally fine but the chances of me meeting somebody while I’m doing that is so slim.

Slim to none because nobody comes out to people anymore. Nobody will go up to another person and even start a conversation.

When I was younger, before I’ve got married, all you had to do was go to a bar and make eye contact with somebody from across the room. You could talk to each other while you were at the bar. If at the end of the night you didn’t like each other, you went your separate ways. If at the end of the night you did like each other, you share your phone number and that’s how it started. No harm, no foul. You either left the bar in separate ways with no communication at all and it was totally fine. There were no issues or you left the bar having a conversation with each other and continuing it on further.

Whereas now, you go into a dating app and it’s like window shopping for one, and two, then you are texting each other, which is awkward enough. I’m a total texter but how do you even start that conversation? What I’m going to do? One of these days is I’m going to start replying to messages with these smart-ass comments and see if anybody responds to me because saying, “How are you,” or something in regards to that is not working. No one responds to me.

To be honest with you, sometimes the quirkier introductions are the ones more likely to get a response for me, too. I try to respond to everybody even if I’m not interested and I will be as nice as I possibly can because it’s better than ghosting people. I will sometimes if it’s a creepy scenario. For the most part, I’m like, “I’m really sorry. I don’t think we are compatible but good luck with your search. I hope you find the one you are looking for.” I try to be super nice about it. I’m not trying to upset people.

It’s upsetting enough that this is how we have to meet new people. That right there is a huge upset for everyone, for all of us because I’m wondering how many men are actually swiping left on me. I’m sure are quite a few. The ones that swipe me, are scary, creepy looking or old. They are like, “I’m 48,” and I’m like, “There’s no way you are 48. You are 70 if you are a day.”

I want someone tall, dark and handsome, salt and pepper hair, clean-shaven.

Is that too much to ask for?

Do you know what we need? We need someone to manufacture them. I don’t need children anymore. They can be big parts. I don’t care. I’m at that point now where I have been alone for years and I’m just needing that human connection. I have friends. I go out to dinner with my best friend but it’s not the same. Do you know how often I told my mom? My mom is single as well and so is my dad. They have been through the whole trying to date and stuff like that. I think they both given up at this point but I told my mom, “I need a man to hug me that is not my brother, my children or my dad.”

I’m surrounded by men. That is the extent of my life. I need a hug. I have a rough day and I start crying and I’m like, “I want someone to hug me and let me cry.” I love my dad and occasionally, he will do that but we don’t do emotions here in my house so that is not a thing. You start crying, as my kids and it’s 1, 2, 3. By the time I get to three, they better have stopped or they go sit down somewhere because we don’t do emotions in my house. I am not an emotional person. I’m dead inside.

You are not dead inside. I am an emotional person. You approach things from a different perspective. That’s okay. I like that about you, seriously, because you are very matter of fact. You say what’s on your mind. You don’t pull punches. I prefer that, especially as I get older because I would rather people tell me exactly what you are thinking. Tell me exactly what you are thinking so I don’t have to guess or pull it out of you. Don’t sugarcoat it. Spit it out.

YGYG Melissa | Dating Apps

Dating Apps: At this point, if you meet anyone at the age of 30 upwards, there’s a chance that they have children that are involved in their lives. You just have to accept that.

 

Do men like that?

Some men do. Of course, they do. There’s variety in everything. I had a guy argue with me that there are supermodels who are plus-size supermodels and “own it.” I’m sure that’s true but I’m not a supermodel.

I have had three children. I need to have my abs sewn back together. I look like I’m still pregnant and my confidence level is not there. Another guy that happened to communicate with me had mentioned, “I want a woman who has confidence in herself.” I was like, “I have confidence in myself but I do not like my physique in any way, shape or form. That doesn’t mean I don’t have confidence. It means I don’t like the way that my body is portrayed at this exact moment in time.” That’s fine.

Let me ask you this. Are you comfortable in your skin, regardless? To a certain degree, are you comfortable in your body as it is?

Yes. I go out and I will strut my stuff. I will walk into a restaurant with my chin up and my shoulders back. That is the ultimate. That is how I will walk anywhere in public unless I’m not paying attention. If I want to get someone’s attention, then I portray myself a certain way. The only problem I have with myself is my stomach at this exact moment in time. If my abs were sewn back together, I would have no problem.

I have one kid delivered naturally and I still have this pudge towards the lower part of my abdomen.

I’m sure that’s a normal thing.

Don’t get me wrong. I will do the same thing. If I really want to look good, I know how to do that and present myself in public. I’m okay with how I am. I have 40 extra pounds on me. I don’t care because it’s not going to come off easily. It’s going to take a lot of effort. I have been this way a long time and at some point, you have to accept that maybe I’m going to be 40 pounds overweight the rest of my life and that’s okay.

It’s not even that. I will occasionally call myself fat but I am not. I am in the 180-pound range but if you look at me to the side and my stomach occasionally is not looking like I’m pregnant because of my abs. My lower half is just thick.

You’ve got to give yourself props because that body is amazing. That body produced three beautiful children and does all these other things for you that you don’t even think about. It breathes, it focuses, it allows you to think and process information. You can’t look at yourself and say, “The fact that I have these abs that I don’t like should cause me to dislike myself as a person,” because people do that and you don’t do that. Thank God.

You get what you get when you get me.

I’m the same person everywhere. I actually had an old boss who was like, “I’m different outside of work than I am here.” I was like, “I am the same.” You will see the same person at work, outside of work and with my family. I’m not a different person, regardless.

Tell people exactly what you think so that no one has to guess or pull it out of you. Don’t sugarcoat.

The only difference between work me and non-work me is my customer service voice because I am not that fake in real life.

You do have to shine it on a lot for the customers. That’s true. That’s a different conversation for another time. Are you currently on a dating app now or are you pausing?

I’m still on them but I haven’t been checking them.

Are we allowed to say which ones or is that not a thing we can do here?

We can say which ones.

Which ones do you want?

Tinder, Hinge and Bumble.

Hinge, I have never heard of. I have heard of the other two but I haven’t tried them. Way back when I did Match, which was awful because everybody just wanted to get laid. There was no middle ground.

That’s what people say about all of them though, is that people are only there because they want to get laid. I’m like, “What’s the point? Why am I on a dating app if I’m not on there to date?”

You need a separate one that says, “If you want to get laid, go here.” I did Match. I did EliteSingles. I did Zoosk. I’ve got off because my experience was awful. I’ve got back to Zoosk because at least I was able to connect with people there. People were responding, etc. It wasn’t like a complete wash. When that wasn’t working, I’ve got on Facebook Dating and that actually has worked out better and it’s free, which is cool.

Although I did have this weird guy. They will tell you if somebody you are connecting with is friends with a friend of yours from your friend’s list I said, “How do you know my friend?” He comes back and he goes, “I know 30 with that name.” I went, “Are you serious?” He goes, “Yes. I have 3,000 Facebook friends.” I thought that was hilarious because I’m like, “There’s no way these are all close friends.

These are probably people he meets in a parking lot somewhere and just hands out his Facebook information.” I wrote him back, “Are they all close friends?” I was trying to joke around with them a little bit. He comes back with, “What’s with all the questions?” It was hostile. I wrote back and I said, “It’s a test. LOL,” thinking that maybe I could get him to see that I was joking around with him. He wrote, “I don’t like tests. Bye. By the way, you should smile on your profile pictures.” Facebook Dating wasn’t all that either. I did meet somebody. I did date number two, which doesn’t often happen.

YGYG Melissa | Dating Apps

Dating Apps: The chances of meeting somebody while out in public are slim to none because nobody goes up to another person and starts a conversation anymore.

 

Is that the one you did?

It is, although I was a little bit upset with him, which I didn’t let on. He had asked me, “Do you have any ideas for date number two?” We had been texting back and forth throughout the week and I was like, “I’m thinking Sunday. I’m thinking lunch at 1:00 and we can walk around. I would like to be home for a certain time.” He was like, “That sounds good.”

All of a sudden, I’m sitting with a couple of friends of mine, having a drink, chatting, he sends me a text and he goes, “I have this family thing I have to do at 3:00.” I’m like, “Your opportunity to tell me that might have been when I said, “Let’s go out on Sunday for lunch.” He’s like, “When can we get together? Tonight?” I’m like, “Okay, sure. Why not?” We ended up going out. It was very nice. He’s a wicked nice guy. I don’t want to write them off entirely because he can’t schedule things but that was a sticking point with my last husband

Jumping on the scheduling, I run off of a calendar. I have fifteen. I have all of my kids’ stuff all scheduled out. I have my ex-husband’s calendar. I have my ex-husband’s girlfriend’s calendar. I have my own personal calendar, my work calendar. I have run off of a schedule and if you are not on time, don’t bother showing up.

I have a real issue with that. I’m usually early, at least 5 to 15 minutes, unless something unexpected happens. I leave them plenty of time but if I’m suddenly in huge amounts of traffic, which I can’t control. At which point, if we are at a standstill, I will literally text whoever it is running late and stuck in traffic. Obviously, there’s nothing you can do about that. That’s a forgivable offense but outside of that, unless you are dying, just show up on time.

I have to be on time and I run off of a script off of my calendar. If I have to schedule a date, it’s got to go through my calendar first. I have been doing it for so long now. Actually, I have been doing it since my ex-husband left. My best friend introduced me to it. She had been trying to get me into the iCalendar stuff on my phone for the longest time because I had a paper planner.

When he left, I started using my iCalendar because I also have her daughter’s softball calendar. She and I have our own calendar together for stuff that we do together. I think her husband can see that one. He knows when we have stuff going on together but it’s just all these shared calendars. Since I started using them, I have been like, “No. I have to check my calendar. This needs to be in here. This needs to be here. This needs to be categorized.”

I started using my calendar on my phone, which actually connects to my Google account because I was double-booking myself. What was happening was I was planning my life around when I did and didn’t have my son. That’s the thing. You have to work around when you have your kids because otherwise, nothing gets done that you want to do.

If you want to have a life, forget it. What I started to realize is I have to cancel on people because I accepted two invitations on the same day at the same time. I made excuses at first but I need to get my crap straight. If my phone ever dies, I am in super amounts of trouble because everything is in there. It’s ridiculous.

Did you go on a third date with this dude?

We are anticipating a third date, which is major for me. After the first date, I’m usually like, “I’m good. We have met and done.” I do expect the third date. He’s very nice. He’s exactly my kind of weird, which is an important thing to have. There was a saying that you have a tribe and your tribe gets you and they understand the kind of person that you are. He seems to be that person. We will see how that goes.

He can’t use a calendar.

The experiences that we have as we go through life make us the people we are.

We are going to fix that. That will be one of the things. I told him that, too. I was joking halfway but he’s like, “I’m terrible at planning.” “We are going to fix that.” I did that before with somebody who couldn’t plan, was overbooking himself, all these and I was like, “No.” That could be an issue going forward but we will see if this keeps happening where I plan a nice date. I was planning the whole thing, too.

That was the other thing. If I go and start planning a nice date, a nice outing or whatever and I’ve got a whole thing that I envisioned in my mind and you go, “By the way, tomorrow is really not going to work for me.” I’m going to be like, “I’m sorry but you know what? The rest of my life doesn’t work for you because we are just not doing this.” We will see how to date number three goes. I have to say I was not expecting much from Facebook Dating and I actually did find him through there.

I have tried Facebook Dating and I was running into too many people that I knew from high school and I’m not into that. High school was not fun for me. I don’t want to date somebody that I went to high school with or anything of that sort, except for one person, obviously, which is fucking stupid. I don’t know. Facebook Dating wasn’t it for me. I have been contemplating it since you brought it up. I have been like, “Maybe I will give it another try.”

To be fair, I was desperate and I won’t go into the circumstances surrounding that but I had been on Zoosk and I had not been getting very good results. I had been talking to a few people but one of them flaked on me because he’s like, “I have my daughter and I’m not going to be able to get together on such a day.” I’m like, “This is the timeframe I have. I have this day and this day, and I’m done because I have my kid for the rest of the week. It’s not going to happen.” He was trying to get me to leave my kid to go meet him for coffee in the morning. I’m like, “I’ve got my kid. I can’t walk out of the house and leave him by himself for an unknown amount of time. I’m not doing that.”

Does this guy have his own kid?

Yes, but he’s always got her. He has full custody. She will go off and do things with her friends or whatever. He messages me on random nights like, “By the way, she’s babysitting tonight until 11:00, if you want to get together.” I’m like, “Tonight? I have my kid and you know I have my kid.”

I can’t do a last-minute either. There’s this meme going around that says, “You can’t call me last minute and ask me to go do something because I need time to hate having to leave my house,” or something like that. I’m like, “This is true.”

If it’s not a part of a plan that I have, then it’s going to mess up my world. I went but I almost did it under duress because I was like, “I don’t want to go out tonight.” I wasn’t feeling pretty and thought, “This is going to ruin it because I’m going on a second date.” I was a little bit angry too, to be fair because I knew that if I didn’t go, I probably wouldn’t see him for the rest of the weekend. I would get my kid back and it would be game over. I was like, “I either do this or I skip a weekend.” It’s like Catch-22. I did and I did end up having a good time but now I’m making sacrifices early on in the relationship. The question then becomes, how many of these things are going to occur? This is why the calendar thing is going to be like a real sticking point.

I was on Tinder for a while and I haven’t deleted Tinder mainly for the message that’s still on there. It’s the message I sent to the guy that I have frequently discussed with you. I don’t know what to do. I think I’m over it at this point. Everyone is like, “Once you get over it and you are not looking for it, it will come.” I’m like, “I will be 82 years old by that time.”

Sometimes it’s hard to stop focusing on one thing when you think it might be the one that got away.

I don’t think he’s the one that got away. I don’t know what it is.

There’s a complicated history there.

YGYG Melissa | Dating Apps

Dating Apps: There are supermodels who are plus-size models and own it, but not everyone is a supermodel.

 

There is and I don’t understand. I just need him to go away. Disappear, please. Disappear my entire marriage.

There was a movie where they did that. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Did you ever see that?

No.

If you haven’t seen that, it’s excellent. It’s got Jim Carrey in a very serious dramatic role. You wouldn’t expect to see him in it and Kate Winslet. It’s a good match-up. They play well off of each other. Basically, the idea behind the film is you can actually go into this clinic where they erase certain timeframes of your life. If you have had a bad breakup, a bad marriage or an abusive relationship, you can go in and say, “I want to erase this person from my memory.” They will literally cut that piece of your history out.

You don’t even remember it. You are not mourning anymore. You are not upset about it. You just don’t remember at all that it even occurred, which is interesting in a way. I also think that the experiences that we have as we go through life are what make us the people that we are. If that part of your life is missing, are you still the same person? I don’t know because you know what, when you watch the film, it makes a lot of interesting points. It’s something you will have to put on your list to see. It was very good.

Dating apps to the full extent, people.

From our perspectives, anyway. We will have other situations that are not similar to ours but I hope that’s true.

I want to hear a success story. I want to know of somebody who has been on a dating app and successfully, I don’t want to say get married but had a long-term.

That did happen. I know someone. A friend of mine I used to work with met her husband on Match. They had been married for years but she’s the exception, not the norm. I hate to say that but given my experience, I don’t see how everyone is getting married off of a dating app.

I can’t even get anyone to respond to me. That’s the frustrating part. No one is even messaging me back. I get ghosted. If you are going to swipe right, at least attempt to have a conversation with me. Don’t ghost me.

You don’t know what you are missing. That’s the whole thing. I put that on my profile. If you think I might be interesting, then at least say, “Hi,” because you might be missing your girl. I have had a few people engage me. I actually rewrote my entire profile on Zoosk because somebody had told me, “I don’t think we are that compatible.” I asked him to list all the things about me that I put on my profile that he didn’t think we were compatible about.

He listed them all. I was like, “You are actually right. We are in zero compatibility at all.” I only commented because he had a witty profile and it was fun to read. They are not all like that. Sometimes you are sitting there as this guy could totally put me to sleep. If you are trying to find out about a person, it’s hard to write about yourself, too. I don’t sell myself. Honestly, to be fair, I have never been able to sell myself. I don’t sell myself well on paper at all.  I suck at writing resumés. I’m horrible at it.

It’s upsetting that using dating apps is how we have to meet new people.

A resumé is really listing your job descriptions. I can’t do it.

Maybe you have a friend do it? Somebody who knows you really well should write your profile.

I have come up with this idea that I’m going to hand one of my friends my dating app login and let them swipe left, swipe right and engage people. They wouldn’t know that it would be my friends, obviously. Set me up on a blind date or something. I don’t know

My parents went on a blind date that neither one of them wanted to go on, by the way, and they were married for 49 years. It can happen. I find that the dates I don’t want to go on like the first date I went on with this guy that I’m working on date number three, I so thought we were going to have a drink. He did not pressure me into it because I can easily say no but he was persistent in a particular way that intrigued me.

I was wondering but then it didn’t turn out to be a drink. He bought me dinner and he was charming, kind and complimentary. I thought, “Is this really happening? I’m going to meet this guy. He’s going to take one look at me. He’s not going to like me or I’m not going to like him. The date is going to be over in ten minutes. We are all both going to be on our way home and nothing is lost,” but that is not what happened. I was actually very surprised.

I can’t even go on a date.

Maybe not yet. Maybe the right one hasn’t found you yet or vice versa.

Maybe I’m just too much to handle and God said, “No.”

I don’t think that’s true. There has got to be a nice 40-year-old out there with older children who are like, “I would love to meet a younger woman who has all these things to offer. Thank you very much.” Smart, independent and financially stable.

At this rate, I think I’m going to be single forever.

Don’t think that. Think you have already got the guy but he just hasn’t rounded the corner yet. He’s already there. You have this wonderful relationship pictured in your mind. The Law of Attraction.

Manifestation.

That is a topic for another time as well.

Manifesting, I want to talk to you about that. We will get into it another time. I’m going to let you go. Thanks for this discussion.

It was super fun. Anytime.

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